Dreams await you.. out there in the unknown...

Sunday, April 09, 2006

This is nt wat I intended to write.. I’m so stupid as I had tot we would haf a POP or farewell nite which I will blog after e ceremony when I reach home… LOL but tats nt wat happened n sum things happen… Anyway since I had officially stepped down on 1st April as all ccas, I might as well blog… when I am still raging inside??.... 4 yrs in SJ, lots of things happened, quite a lot r oredi engraved in my memory, consisting of sweet n bitter memories. I will try to relate my 4 yrs in sjab…
At e recruitment campaign in sec 1, we walk into sch like innocent children. Being new to e ppl there, SJ seniors scared me, lol… pulling me into their so called territory n introduce e idea of wat sj is all bout etc… I gt 2 choices in mind at tat time… to join band or sj. I choose the latter without knowing y in e world did I choose tat cca… haha but I’m glad for I made some gd frenz n nice seniors n juniors…. I rmb my fiz 2 commanders r katherine(same name as me hahaz >.<) n Winnie. Cum to tink of it, well I dun really rmb e things we did wif them nw… we onli spend a short time bfore they pass out I tink… No so whatever memory…but I rmb e welcome party… hahaz it drags till late at nite…I tink ard 10+ if I rmb correctly… actually I do nt rmb it well too hahaz >..< lol.. nvm.. let it serve as a memorie…. When Winnie n katherine pass out, we had a change of commanders… Hwee yen, Man hui for e gals n cindy, chengjoo fer e guys at 1st… lol rmb in e beginning… from 1e6, gt abt 7 boys… but later on all quit xcept 1 – aaron.. hahaz The 1st impression on hweeyen is relatively bad as she appears wif a veri black face, looking so fierce tat I took a dislike fer her. While manhui on the other hand… gt a so called cheerful expression [cannot blame that’s her natural face XD] look so nice n likable tat I like her more than hy, besides her actions make me laugh!! Its like angel n devil – one fierce, one funny, one dun smile, one laugh…. But nw I noe I am wrong…Both r damn nice n I dun regret having them as my commanders!! Well most of the sweet memories r captivated by hy n mh as our commanders. We spent many afternoons n evenings learning footdrill n manhui will always cum up wif stupid patterns, showing us wat we did that make us wan to rofl… I rmb tat time when they fiz teach us marching… that time nt e full squad stay behind as it is veri late. They tried to teach us marching n it turns out to be a funny yet memorable lesson.. We all did silly mistakes n manhui pointed them out by showing us n tat is one of the many trainings where we burst out laughing. I cant stop laughing.. lol even serious hy laughed uncontrollably!! Too many precious memories… I nt going to put them down… too much le..all wif hy n mh… hehez hmm I rmb that yr sec 1, I keep wanting to quit sj…sae I wan quit sj till nw still haven quit hais till I pass out le.. lol hmm e farewell nite fer Winnie batch, rmb manhui make us sing again n again >.< coz she sae nt loud enuff….lol. One of e most memorable camps in my 15+ yrs training camp by hy batch… lol I am in grp scorpious =P though its 3 sats n nt an overnite camp, it may be very tiring yet, is one of e best camp I ever had! the camp is well organized n very fun. The last dae, e seniors all line up at e gate, linking their hands together n we had to push past e human barrier n out of e gate. Heard that’s e tradition of breaking a camp… the onli thing I hate bout e camp is e food… argg cant waste food n e food consists of VEGETABLES… which I still threw away in the end XD.. I rmb our grp instructor is weiting.. hahaz when we do e suicide window, e station master ask us to get our instructor to do n we will get bonus points. Weiting finally gave in to our pestering though I tink shes afraid to do. In e end, she split her shirt from e sleeve to part of e side of e shirt. LOL cum to tink of it that time we are shocked but we burst out laughing? Did we?? Lol… hiking was hell man… it was so bloody hot n tiring.. the hornet attack where we haf to lie on mud is terrible… yucks…its still fun being exposed to these activities… ahhh I really enjoy SJ at tat time!! As the bond wif hy n mh grew, well.. hy becums more n more childish.. cum to tink of it, she has really change a lot from e day she is first introduced to us… hmm nw shes childish n so lame!! N laugh a lot too =D hahaz LOL me like to pull her hair down..n call mh mushroom queen.. heex but so sad, happy times r nt everlasting….n we had to go separate ways sooner or later… very soon they passed out n hmm e batch I dislike or some ppl in there which I hate takes over.. ~tears welling up~ I MISS THOSE DAES!!!!
Now is e time to spew venom!! I tink that sj standard has start to drop from “ That er xin lao sai no. 6 batch”… which is e batch that is after hy batch… though I tink my batch maybe also nt tat gd but at least we tried our best.. That er xin batch gt so much manpower yet e ppl active in dept is onli so few… I tink that hmm e er xin batch is like a dynasty – nt in terms of like veri gd in managing e country.. nah I am toking abt e way e ppl mind work… they resemble e dynasty royalty minds… so obsessed wif power.. well e batch makes me feel as if they r power seekers wif big ambitions.. like controlling n being e mastermind. “ POOI” this is wat I tink of tat batch.. though I find some ppl in e batch very nice, like xin xuan that gang, yumei, terence, shuli n Alvin ok ba…. Well I do nt noe bout other ppl… dunno wats wrong wif them.. rmb 1 incident.. some1 juz came… walk past all of us who r falling in at tat time (include my batch n juniors) n without looking back juz shout “ CPBS, fall out!” like very angry liddat…right in front of juniors lor!! Where is e basic respect for us n for Alvin who is in charge at tat time!?… dun u tink u nid to ask him if u can ask cpbs to fall out.. hao dai Alvin haven dismiss us yet……. N we r in a squad…. Someone kip telling cindy to empty dustbin!! Pls lo cindy is nt a dog to be commanded as n when u like! Y nt go make a duty roster or pick on other ppl same size or same rank as u… stupid bully… n y muz it always be cindy? U gt sth against her is it… stop treating our batch ppl like dirt… show us some respect. Damn you! I suck ur blood den u noe!!! ~devilish smile~ lots of things are also nt controlled by us. Nobody seeks our opinions blah blah we r sec 4s k? we are still holding e reins of sj at tat time!! Pls respect our batch! That stupid “SIR” which I haf no respect for… pooi he who report us playing cards during pd when he OWNSELF gt play also lo!! By snatching our cards n slowly put them on e table 1 by 1 for us to snatch back…..wth wif a stupid grin?? WTH is this…. Nth to do arz?? N he report us is long past e pd le lo… wait so long den stil report GTH man… he immediately took on poms sides n start scolding us in a voice tat is louder than mr wee’s sae wat how can u expect us to respect u all when u all dun respect us in fiz place or wat without reasoning!!!!! N if we do nt respect u all at that time.. do u tink we will still do ur bidding or wat… pls lo… if dun respect u .. see u pretend see air ur words pretend its wind…. Suan le tok will get mad again… onli when hero mr wong interferes den things gt better. Lol the poms wanna hold a meeting tat time which in my own opinion ended up making me tink its useless… make everything sounds like wat?? A peace seeking meeting wif opposing sides sitting opposite each other wif tense feeling in e air.. hmm to me feels like going to war instead hahaz.. n gt 1 person hor e face so BLACK!!! Er xin man…. Hais suan le no comments.. anyway nw coz long time nv go bac n c them, there is nt much anger nw lol.. anyway do u noe a damn lame thingy?? They say “ those officers-to-be MUST greet” does it mean those nt going to be officers no nid greet arz?? Whats this man… does it means hy or e other gd poms we dun greet??? Stupid idea… I tink I will rather do opposite.. hahaz anyway those officers-to-be I tink gt bout 10-13?? SIAO even those we seldom c when they haven pass out yet also going to be officers… WHAT IS THIS!!?? Anyone can also be officers la.. mad man…in my case I tink its DUNG!! They juz wan earn cca points is it?? I dun believe they will kip coming back anyway suan le… y is my batch so ke lian…get this type of seniors… shit man.. those so called in “power” all are SHIT except some….which r a minority…heard its becoz of some “internal problems” that’s y they all nv plan a farewell nite for hy batch… Guess wat? Guess wat?? Guess wat??? [lol mr kamal likes to sae guess wat?] this is e most impt of e many factors which I tink leads to e trigger as to y I hate e er xin da bian batch!! See la… hy batch is a damn excellent batch n yet, one’s in a lifetime farewell nite fly away juz becoz of some stupid internal conflicts??? SUX MAN!!!! I juz regret my batch organize a farewell nite for ur batch… u all dun deserve it!! Tink e most disappointed shld be hy n mh batch ba!! Argg… feel so bu shuang!!
LOL I laugh at myself fer joining sj in 1st place… looks like theres no respect given to our batch whether by e top(tat erxin da bian batch n some others) n bottom(juniors) in my opinion la… feel free to correct me.. let me relate y I tink that way… photo taking…. Gt 1 “sir” lol come take wif us.. u r officer k? y cant u wear ur uniform!!! If nt, dun take la…nt in uniform still take e drill stick for wat.. ridiculous man!! GTH LA!!! N so funny lo.. some of us haf return e sergeant ranks to e poms le.. n guess wat? In e photo taking session, we wear fiz u without ranks!!! That is nt all but all our juniors gt their ranks on!! The corporal ranks which are supposedly ours which we pay wif our OWN money!! Haha so now they does nt belong to us le lo… in that photo, we r e smallest rank lor.. lol anyone can command us do anything lo.. so funny hor?? Lol I tink we look ridiculous?? Hahaz…first u without rank is nt that smart….further more I tink someone from my batch gt ask a junior “ some of us dun haf ranks how?” Sth liddat la…guess wat e junior reply “Go find urself” sth liddat.. whats this we haf already PASS OUT which means its the last photo as a cca.. without a pass out parade as I may add!! Do u wan us to sae, give us back all our ranks n u all go find ur own ranks??? N I tink e reply is rude…. Hahaz no pass out parade..we dun even noe we r promoted till we saw e cca report.. [n y angela nt promoted to cadet leader?? She has commissioner badge n her contributions attendance blah blah I feel she deserves to be a cadet leader!!! ] Whats this again!!?? SHIT!! No pass out parade… n I dun tink we wil haf le.. coz on 1st april we haf officially pass out by sch commands…even if theres going to be pop for us in future, wats e point nw.. farewell nite.. lol now any hopes for that has already been extinguished… I dun dare hope for one now to avoid any more disappointments… suan le out batch fates so sad lo.. CURSE YOU!!!! Arggg… lol tink also fate can be changed but must depend on e ppl la… which I tink suan le.. lol we r nt even informed theres going to be welcome party nxt tues ??… this shows our place in their heart.. which is very low…. Nt even hitting on e word important… haha are we invited?? Who noes hais maybe they may inform us on sun, mon?? or wat?? Are we invited??? Who noes.. someone still haf e cheek to call 1 of our batch ppl n ask where to buy balloons for e event!! WHAT IS THIS!?? Its like rubbing salt into a wound!! Oh my god, y do I choose sj as my cca?? It has stoop down to this lvl.. or maybe onli for our batch.. haha who dun deserve any respect?? Wth?? We work so hard for sj….arggg it seems our batch is invisible, NON-EXISTANT!?!? Hais nvm.. in all my yrs in sj, I onli respect hy n mh batch n e batches before them, timo sir, bra sir, saytiong sir, huiling mdm n peijue sir ba… e others suan le la.. maybe some others from yumei’s batch hahaz still in remorse over the fact that y we pon so much when we are in sec 2…. Shld haf treasure every moment wif hy n mh ~sob~ to collect more memories and direct them to e secret store in e brain…nw no choice le.. wahh lol bile rise up n for once… really tot sjab sux nw.. lol at this moment ba.. but these tots will also die dwn somedae… but I still tink ppl dui bu qi our batch… lol..nvm I juz realize I in no position to sae this… after all I juz a “staff sergeant” wif no recognition n my words will juz be like a breeze, words blowing away wif e wind… hahaz this sentence “ I LOVE SJAB” may haf popped out of my mouth or surfaced in my heart… but twas e past for it is impossible now as I could nt bring myself to sae these words… Even if I force myself to sae them.. it will probably be filled wif sarcasm… I would be glad to sae “I LOVE SJAB” in e past when hy batch are still in the reign, controlling sj.. but this has become a memory, a sweet and treasured memory in my heart n it will nv be forgotten as I will bring these memories wif me till my last breath..when my heart stops beating… I will bring them down to my grave… provided I dun haf dementia hahaz… but even if I gt dementia… I still tink somehow part of me will still rmb these moments.. forever!! As to those bad memories, I may still rmb n whenever I tink of them.. hatred may still burn deep down inside my heart.. oh ya I am nt so forgiving after all ~evil laughter~ I am a ROYAL VAMPIRE… hahaz … lata I suck ur blood!! Hais I noe I lame.. nvm… LOL

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