ahh... dunno i suddenly feel my blog gt a very gloomy n emo look.. lol.. but dun feel like changing ever.. haaha coz the blog skin like i put in a lot of effort finally get all my fav chars in.. sianz but if ppl dun strive for improvements, i will always be on a standstilll.. hmm sighs...
hais ytd went for a nite walk wif cousin.. n haha whenever we r together we will like tink back bout the past.. its realli fast.. rmb that timee we were juz 8 or 9 yrs all.. everything is so uncomplicated.. so innocent.. yet in a blink of an eye.. we haf all grown up.. mayb nxt time we will be 40 yrs 50 yrs? sighs but i like the past.. is it better to be financially better yet the cost is family time? or is it better to be like the past.. though we r poor yet families cousins will always go out for outings... fly kites... bbq... grandma hse gathering..yes nt well off yet there are a lot of happy memories...
feel that as ppl progress.. we will forget wats impt.. we will let those untrivial things blind us.. but yet in this world.. money plays an impt role... poor but happy.. rich but missing out.. sianz..perhaps its becoz we haf experienced the happiness in those times.. dats y we will not be contented.. i dunno but people are rarely contented.. everything is like not enuff.. y r humans so complicated..
n here i am blabbering on and on bout all these things which i noe could nt realli be changed.. but everytime i see my blog.. i will think of the dreams i had.. the wishes i wan.. to go inside anime world n forget reality.. but yet.. the more i wish.. the more i noe it is impossible.. that onli make me wish harder.. and the cycle goes on..
i feel like im very bad.. lazy.. i wan to help my mum in hse work all that.. but in e end didnt... i guess me n my siblings are all too lazy.. my mum is like doing everything by herself n i feeel guilty.. yet.. sighs.. im damn evil.. scold me someone.. instead i gif her a lot of trouble.. me alone.. i had already spent so much of her money... wasted so much of her money... my dad is gg china again on mon... guess he will be back in oct.. 2 months.. sighs.. i guess i cant complain.. i wan my own room... haha n thats another wish.. but its nt gonna happen i guess.. sick of life... yet theres so many ppl out there who r deprived of a life.. i gt no sae in saeing that my life is nt gd.. there are so many ppl out there who has a suckier life than me.. i haf to be contented!
i guess when one grows older.. i guess nw y old ppl are nt afraid to go.. coz i can a bit feel like them.. as one grows older.. everythings seems to become less n less significant.. somehow like u haf lived through diff stages of life.. n things get boring.. y we r afraid to die young is coz we haven yet experience every stage of our life.. ahh contemplating a lot of stuff when my hw is nt even done yet.. argg stop these thoughts.. focus on the present! sighs.. feelings emotions are diff to pen down.. i guess i will juz keep these things bottled up.. haha no use troubing others.. ah mi tuo fo.. hope everyone stays happy...
12:39 PM