Dreams await you.. out there in the unknown...

Friday, August 14, 2009

Okay, blogger has some kind of problem again. But anyway, after various conversations today, perhaps this could be a topic to think deeper on. Will you rather be alone in a new environment, where you would be free to make new friends or will you rather be in a new environment with your old friends? There are actually pros and cons for both choices and I guess I will choose the first.

I realised that once you knew someone familiar, that person become your safe haven whom you will keep sticking to and that will limit your socialization. But if there is one person that is familiar with you, it will be easier to make friends as you will be bolder and will talk more. If given a choice, I think I will still prefer to be thrown into a new environment alone, with no restrictions and I realised that after coming to poly, perhaps I could say that I had redefined myself a bit. Sometimes, a personality that I did not know that I had leashed it so firmly for years had leaked out, where it felt safe to emerge and that personality, only maybe one or two close friends in my secondary school knew the Full brunt of it. That is to say, under different circumstances, different personalities will leak out, as in will act differently with different cliques of people.

Besides, I guess, it is a good experience as I had met many different people with different personalities, tried new things that I would never think that I would ever try... due to the influences of the weird people in the environment I am in now. Well give some examples, I would never had thought that I would use english as my main language to communicate and that is what I am doing now in poly. I would never thought that I would step inside a Japanese restaurant and eat Jap food, and I had done that cause of eugene.... I would never thought that I would go chill out in pub and that is what I had done with jac, colin, jolene and kane. Okay, perhaps I knew that I will go to pub someday but I never expected my first time going there to be with this group. Also, my first time going overseas with friends without any adult supervision is also with this group.

Simply to say, I had experienced things that I had never thought I would have done or perhaps had thought I would do it with my sec sch clique, but I guessed my mind had opened up more and I had accepted different people and had embarked on a road of no judgement. Ask anyone, I think that I am very judgemental when I am in sec sch. Can I say that I had matured? I found that different personalities are interesting and that may be what intrigues me as times spent with them would differ, perhaps be full of weird stuff and random and mad things. I think that I had learnt a lot about life, and now, I want to embark on a road to self enlightenment.

I will admit that jealousy had sometimes corrupted my mind when i am younger, and that is because I cared too much about friendships and may get a tad possesive. But since then, I had thrown away these worries as friendships are too complicated to comprehend and I had become fed up with contemplating too much about it and shed tears over them, so I just chucked everything away and kept only a few precious friendships tight. But possesive? Nah, I had shoved that useless emotion into somewhere that I could not accessed for it just bring more problems and useless frustrations. Personally, I had concluded that some friends are only friends for that period of time, where after, time will weaken the friendship bonds. Note that I say weaken and not broken, and this will mean that they still hold a place in my heart, just a bit faded. Thus, now I am a happier and more carefree person once I kept to that conclusion and do not worry too much about friendships. Compared to last time, my emo periods had drastically lessened. Okay, seems cold hearted yea? But it is not complicated. Just enjoy life and live simply. =D

2:31 AM

Shinobi: KatherinePhang

Code Name: Kat

Birthday: 27th July 1990

Email: katherinephang@hotmail.com

Age: 17

Horoscope: Leo

School: Swiss Cottage Secondary, Anderson Junior Collage

CCA: St.John Ambulance Brigade, ODAC - Outdoor Activities Club =D

Likes: Animes, comics, nature, daydreaming, listening to music, sleeping, isolation...

Dislikes: Vegetables, unfair people...

My Wishlist

Naruto Animes

Anime Comics

Portable DVD player

Prince Of tennis animes

Shades of Truth Vcds

Take My Word for it Vcds

New animes

A sling bag

Go out with SJ members on an outing again =D

Compile photo albums for various memories

A pair of roller blades

Hard disk drive

a new mouse

an ipod or psp

_{Under a starry night, where strong winds blow...}

_{Where droplets of dews sparkle on lush grass..}

_{A lone soul surrounded by the beauty of nature..}

_{Reminiscing the past, lost in memories...}

_{Dreading to return to the present...}

_{Staring out at sparkling stars and moon above...}

_{Wishing and wishing.. for time to stand still...}

_{Dreaming and dreaming for wishes to come true...}