Dreams await you.. out there in the unknown...

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Welcome to my lair....

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Come to think of it, I think the reason why I could work so hard that time is because you were there. To have someone to study together, to motivate each other and try hard to beat each other's score, then suan each other, to say the truth, I kinda miss those days. Though now, I dunno what will happen when we meet, to smile awkwardly or truthfully, to feel weird or feel happy, after that year or months of awkward silence, I do not know what now will feel or what to talk about.

Perhaps I had try to avoid you sometimes but I guess no longer. Your place in my heart will always be there yet I do not know how big your place is now. Once you owned kinda a big portion of my heart... I shall not say how sad I am over or rethink back those dark days, but just to tell you, be happy and I shall be happy for you. Hope you found another person who you can be as close as we are in the past.

It is kinda sad to drift apart with people who I am close to last time. I can name a few and especially those who I have the same interests and whatsoever. But I am sick of always being the one to try to contact them (in some cases). As they say, it takes two hands to clap. It just makes me feel stupid for trying to hold on to something that the other party deem it okay to let go of, or perhaps he/she is too busy. (Okay, I may be the one to commit the afore mentioned to some groups, Resolve: I shall try to change that side of me to those groups.) But whatever, I had resolved to let things be. No use trying so hard if the other party dont really reciprocate or it always had to be me to contact him/her first. Friends for that period of time, as I may say. Friends come and go, but which of those will keep on staying in your life? That is for me to find out and sometimes the results may be kinda unexpected, and that makes it all the more interesting.
Memories would fade and that is what I am most afraid for.

I guessed being the me now is kinda the best, being able to enjoy and experience different kinds and types of people and things. I noticed that I am quite choosy and fixed in my perceptions and opinions last time. I am glad that i am able to change that. That is why i had met so many interesting people. But the motivation to work hard has not really been found. ZzzZzzZzzZzzZzz

9:35 PM